Chilling Out in the Big Warm Up

Topic: Climate Change

For the 4th time in a week I've encountered someone who believes the idea of global warming is a hoax. That doesn't include the smug son of a bitch I saw on tv last night. I've given up on discussing the issue with these people. You could show them all of the satellite photos of the Artic, all the climatology reports and average temperature records for the last hundred years and they still won't listen. If a homeless polar bear carjacks them in a mall parking lot, they might come around.

"Learn to swim, see you down at Arizona Bay." (bill hicks) I will miss Fenway Park, but think of how cool the scuba diving is going to be there. Besides, it's not like it's the end of the world. Frank Zappa said that would be caused by,"paperwork and nostalgia".

So there's this penguin who's doing a tour of the US because his iceberg melted. With nowhere to live and nothing better to do, he figured he'd take a trip. So he's driving through Nevada in his little penguin car. Now the heat is unbearable and it's really getting to him when his car breaks down. He gets it towed to the shop where the mechnic say's, "It's going be awhile and you look really hot, so why don't you go across the street to the supermarket and I'll come get you when I'm done. They have air conditioning so you'll feel better there." He goes to the market and wanders around until he finds the freezer section. Once there he tears into the ice cream shoveling it into his mouth with his little flipper-wings. The mechanic diagnosed the problem quicker than he thought and tracked the penguin down. Finding the penguin the mechanic taps him on the shoulder. Turning around, the penguin says,"That was quick! So what's the problem?" The mechanic says,"You blew a seal." Quickly looking down at the melted vanilla ice cream dripping down his chin, the penguin blurts out,"NO! NO I DIDN'T! IT'S ICE CREAM! "