This sandwich will be built upside down.
Grab the top half of a split roll. Tear out a small handfull. In the hole you just created place cole slaw. Take a handfull of half cooked french fries and place them on top of the cole slaw/roll top. Don't be shy.
On that goes a moderate amount of mayo and French's mustard. (any other mustard is for pretentious fools). Then add lettuce and tomato. One hard shake of paprika. Then cylinder roll spiced ham, capicola and prosciutto and place onto sandwich. In leu of these ingredients use your best ham, salami and bologna (or your imagination). If you need to resort to these alternate ingredients, hum "This Land is Your Land" by Woody Guthrie. Trust me on that one . . .and this one. Finish by cupping your hands over some heat source, any will do. Once you've captured the heat, (avoid burning yourself of course) quickly dump the heat on top of the sandwich and immediately place the bottom of the bun on top of that. Set things up before hand so this can be done as quickly as possible. Place foil over sandwich and FLIP! Flick a small amount of water onto the sides of the sandwich and wrap with the foil. Allow to sit for 1-2 minutes and serve with a dill pickle and potato chips.
Heavy like Mount Kailash.