monkeys talk, no never lie on ground

I don't drink wine. When I do I don't think about it, let alone critique it. A man walks up to me in the liquor store today and asks me to describe the taste of a particular wine. I say,"I don't drink wine and furthermore i don't get involved in the affairs of others. He persisted. "Come on, you must know something about this one. It's very popular" "OK, I tried it a couple of times. It had a strong flavor of burnt coffee and human hair, with hints of onion and garlic, and a subtle yet satisfying hint of monkey pus and refried beans." I was fired 10 minutes later.