Sunday, October 21, 2007

Elvis sleeps well tonight (or, if a flea jumps halfway to the wall, over and over, does he ever reach it?)

6 days in Vegas. I went out for a wedding last week and stayed at the Monte Carlo. I still have no idea what to think of Vegas. I was extremely let down in some ways and equally overwhelmed in others. Two things are for sure, 1. I'll go back, 2. I'll bring my stuffed Tigger with me (and more money).

So Elvis was a hero to most, but that's beside the point. Elvis is not impersonated by Elvis impersonators. Elvis impersonators impersonate other Elvis impersonators. It's like when you make a copy of a copy of a copy. Eventually the subtle degradation adds up and corrupts the image. Elvis was probably the greatest Elvis impersonator of all time. He kept up the facade for quite a while before the stress finally got to him.

If Elvis impersonators impersonate Elvis impersonators and Elvis really only ever impersonated himself, then did "Elvis" ever really exist? Maybe "Elvis" only really ever existed in the mind of a 10 year old Elvis. Maybe the best way to impersonate Elvis is to impersonate a 10 year old Elvis imagining he's really Elvis. Bill Clinton is the greatest living Elvis impersonator. Elvis is the all time greatest Elvis impersonator.

Chips impersonate money. Dealers impersonate your friends. The pit bosses do a great job of impersonating your 4th grade English teacher during an exam and look very silly doing it. Casino waitresses impersonate real waitresses. Casinos impersonate Disney World (badly) and Disney World does a great job of impersonating a casino. (the following are hotel/casinos in vegas) "The Venetian" impersonates a Target store in Venice. "Paris" impersonates Disney's "Lady and the Tramp" movie-on acid. "New York, New York" impersonates a big headache, and does so quite well I might add. The lobby of the "Bellagio" impersonates Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. I met a little person there and almost asked him to sing the Umpa Lumpa song. Sidewalks in Vegas impersonate real sidewalks, however they're neither on the "side" nor are they suitable for walking. The ceilings in most of the new buildings impersonate the sky quite well.

The only real thing in all of Vegas is McDonalds. The McDonalds in Vegas is impersonated by every other McDonalds in the world.

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