Elvis sleeps well tonight (or, if a flea jumps halfway to the wall, over and over, does he ever reach it?)

6 days in Vegas. I went out for a wedding last week and stayed at the Monte Carlo. I still have no idea what to think of Vegas. I was extremely let down in some ways and equally overwhelmed in others. Two things are for sure, 1. I'll go back, 2. I'll bring my stuffed Tigger with me (and more money).

So Elvis was a hero to most, but that's beside the point. Elvis is not impersonated by Elvis impersonators. Elvis impersonators impersonate other Elvis impersonators. It's like when you make a copy of a copy of a copy. Eventually the subtle degradation adds up and corrupts the image. Elvis was probably the greatest Elvis impersonator of all time. He kept up the facade for quite a while before the stress finally got to him.

If Elvis impersonators impersonate Elvis impersonators and Elvis really only ever impersonated himself, then did "Elvis" ever really exist? Maybe "Elvis" only really ever existed in the mind of a 10 year old Elvis. Maybe the best way to impersonate Elvis is to impersonate a 10 year old Elvis imagining he's really Elvis. Bill Clinton is the greatest living Elvis impersonator. Elvis is the all time greatest Elvis impersonator.

Chips impersonate money. Dealers impersonate your friends. The pit bosses do a great job of impersonating your 4th grade English teacher during an exam and look very silly doing it. Casino waitresses impersonate real waitresses. Casinos impersonate Disney World (badly) and Disney World does a great job of impersonating a casino. (the following are hotel/casinos in vegas) "The Venetian" impersonates a Target store in Venice. "Paris" impersonates Disney's "Lady and the Tramp" movie-on acid. "New York, New York" impersonates a big headache, and does so quite well I might add. The lobby of the "Bellagio" impersonates Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. I met a little person there and almost asked him to sing the Umpa Lumpa song. Sidewalks in Vegas impersonate real sidewalks, however they're neither on the "side" nor are they suitable for walking. The ceilings in most of the new buildings impersonate the sky quite well.

The only real thing in all of Vegas is McDonalds. The McDonalds in Vegas is impersonated by every other McDonalds in the world.

what did you say?

Here's to busting eardrums. More to come. . .

and

Once now, no twice forever always. No not now, but twice tomorrow never.
Take this, turn, walk, then turn no more.
I lie awake you lie there sleeping.
We sleep awake and we both lie.

Dollar bills stare, yes all money scary.

Once now, next twice forever never.
Still faces stare but still faces never lie.
Walking down stairs next walking through stares.
Lies in wait are what lie in wait for us.

So lie in wait you lies that wait, she's (M) my best friend.

maybe a day

Too lazy lately to write anything. I'd say too tired, because I have been busy but I've had the energy to do other things so I'll just stick with lazy. Deep yawns as I write this.

I've been trying for some time to collaborate on music over the net with no avail. I've taken on another project. Still no luck. It took an hour . . .maybe a day.

If you hate something . . .

. . . don't you do it too?

Saying he was "deeply sorry," Congressman Mark Foley (R-FL) resigned from Congress, hours after ABC News questioned him about sexually explicit internet messages with current and former congressional pages under the age of 18.

Foley was on a commision which worked on issues directly regarding sexual exploitation of minors. He was just doing a little research I guess.


Last June, Larry Craig, the Senator from Idaho, was arrested for “lewd conduct” in a men’s room at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport. He pleaded guilty on August 8, paid $500, got out of the 10-day jail sentence, and was given a year of probation. The lewd conduct he was accused of consisted of a series of hand and foot jestures made under the partition of a bathroom stall in an airport. To call this type of encounter "gay" is insulting to homosexuals. Normal men and women, gay or straight, don't meet partners through a game of toilet seat footsie.

Craig, when addressing the issue at a press conference repeatedly denied being gay.Like most fellow Republicans, Craig has opposed gay rights, voting in favor of a federal ban on same-sex marriage several times in recent years

Asked this morning at the White House whether the senator, Larry Craig, should resign, President George W. Bush said nothing and walked off stage.

The Five S

Super Spectacular Seafood Sandwich Special

• grilled salmon
• sliced shrimp
• 1 slice of bread soaked in cream of crab soup
• pineapple slices
• lettuce
• tomato
• Kaiser roll

Isn't life great?

What do you expect?. (or Neon Deion, Freon Peyon)

All excerpts are taken from an espn.com editorial written by Deion Sanders.

Sanders, "What a dog means to Vick might be a lot different than what he means to you or I. Hold on, don’t start shaking your head just yet. Listen to me."

I can't listen to you, I'm reading words you wrote. You mean to say, "read on". You moron.

Sanders, "You can still choose to condemn him, but I’m trying to take you inside his mind so you can understand where he might be coming from."

Been inside his mind, have you? Placed any bets on the sick blood sport while you were in there?

Sanders "I have three highly-trained protection German shepherds, just in case someone wants to rob my family. Believe me, you don’t want to deal with them. With one German command, our dog Yascho turns into Cujo. And for the record, I live around the corner from the police station, so it won’t take them long to show up and save you from the dogs."

What's your "German command" Sieg Heil!, perhaps? You piece of shit. With your nazi command your dog is a gun too huh? You fuck.

Sanders "The allure is the intensity and the challenge of a dog fighting to the death. It’s like ultimate fighting, but the dog doesn’t tap out when he knows he can’t win. It reminds me of when I wore a lot of jewelry back in the day because I always wanted to have the biggest chain or the biggest, baddest car. It gives you status."

I'm not speechless often, but I have no response to that one.

Sanders, "Can I pause for a moment to ask you a question?"

You can do whatever you want, it's your article. You idiot. After you wrote that idiotic line, did you sit in front of your computer waiting for an answer?

Sanders ":We’re attacking this dogfighting ring the same way a teenager attacks his MySpace page after school (by the way parents, make sure you monitor your kids)."

Teenagers have pit bulls attacking their computers!!!???!!! WTF? "by the way parents, make sure you monitor your kids" Was that some half assed public service announcement? Was that pseudo wisdom, or are you really dumber than you look?

Sanders "The reason this is turning into a three-ring circus is that baseball is boring, basketball is months away, football is around the corner and we in the media don’t have a thing interesting to write about."

Right. The attention given has nothing to do with the sadistic nature of his actions. It's all baseball's fault. Blame the NBA while you're at it for not scheduling the games around Vick's dog fights.

Sanders, "How will this end up? I have no idea. All I know is Falcons fans better pray because Vick’s backup is Joey Harrington. Enough said."

So I guess in his eyes justice is irrelevant. What's paramount is the football team's success. I'll remember that.